


Not Only An End

by Fabricius



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Amputation, Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Romance, Trespasser DLC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 21:22:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6300898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fabricius/pseuds/Fabricius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>End-Trespasser.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Only An End

Dorian stepped through the Eluvian and into the crossroads. He felt certain he could never quite get used to the feeling of being there. It wasn't the Fade, but close enough. The tingle of magic on his skin, interlacing with his own, was pleasurable and overwhelming all at once.

He watched Trevelyan carefully. The man stood a few feet away, speaking with Cassandra. His face was relaxed, if serious. He looked like himself on any other mission, the only thing giving him away was how tightly he was gripping the hilt of his sword. He caught Dorian's eye with a small smile, one that faded the moment Dorian signalled for him to step away from the others with a tilt of his head.

"What's wrong?" He asked, holding Dorian's gaze far too briefly to convince him of his ignorance.

"Leliana told us about your... Pyrotechnic display." He fought to keep his voice steady, but it was a losing battle. "Why didn’t you say something? I could’ve… I don’t know. _Something._ ”

Trevelyan at least had the decency to look guilty. "There was nothing you could have done, other than worry." He said, as if that were explanation enough.

Dorian felt his blood boil. "Then perhaps you should have offered me that courtesy, at least!" He took a breath, aware of how the others' eyes had travelled to his raised voice. "You promised." He said quietly. "You looked me in the eye and swore you'd never lie to me."

Trevelyan's face contorted with guilt and Dorian could tell he'd hit a nerve.  _Good._ "It wasn't a lie exactly..." 

"A lie by omission is still a lie." He crossed his arms over his chest, feeling the angry pump of his heart just beneath the surface.

“Dorian…” Trevelyan sighed deeply. Suddenly, it was obvious how exhausted the man looked. There were bags underneath his eyes and a sheen of sweat on his forehead. His fingers were continiously clenching and unclenching around his sword, like a nervous twitch. He had to be fighting every moment to keep the anchor’s effect on him under wraps.

“Show me.” He demanded. Trevelyan looked as if he were about to protest, but he must have realised it would be of little use. He carefully removed his glove and then started working on the bandage covering his hand and arm. Dorian’s breath caught at the state of Trevelyan’s arm. The mark had spread and green veins travelled from his palm all the way up to his elbow, glowing a dull, throbbing glow. The skin around it looked red and burned. He instinctively reached out to touch it, but Trevelyan pulled his arm back as if he’d been whipped.

“Sorry…” He said quietly, already beginning to roll his sleeve back down. Dorian knew that his intentions were to not hurt him, but none the less, he'd done exactly that. He couldn't ignore the pain Trevelyan was clearly in, however, and didn't want to add to it by holding a grudge.

“ _Amatus._ ” It was so much worse than he could’ve imagined. He didn’t know what to say. He was horrified. 

“For what it's worth, I'm sorry I didn't tell you.” Trevelyan said, putting on his glove, managing mostly to hide the pain the act caused him. He looked as if he were about to turn away, but hesitated. "I love you." He held Dorian's gaze for a moment, before walking away. Dorian felt tears burning behind his eyes. He couldn't say it back. Not now. Not like this.

... 

They were wading through mud and water, when the mark flared again. Dorian’s heart stopped, as it did every time the mark caused Trevelyan pain. It was like his own pain, worse even. He couldn’t bear to see it, but at the same time, couldn't tear his eyes away.

“It’s going to… Everyone back!” Trevelyan managed to yell, just before magic flared all around him, sending shockwaves that nearly keeled everyone over. The worst part was Trevelyan’s deafening scream of agony just as it happened. He was doubled over in pain and Dorian ran to him, putting an arm around him to help keep him upright.

Trevelyan released something like a sob, holding up his hand and staring at it with a mixture of anger and fear, like it had betrayed him. Dorian tentatively reached out, covering the Anchor with his own hand. He was unsure whether Trevelyan would draw away in pain, but instead the man wrapped his own fingers around Dorian’s hand, pressing their palms together tightly.

 ...

Dorian had panicked when his hands met cold glass. He’d tried pushing through the mirror again and again, but it was of no use. It was deactivated. Eventually, all they could do was wait for _something_. Dorian was pacing relentlessly, his mind sending the same silent prayer to the Maker over and over again. _Don’t let him die._

Finally, after what felt like hours had passed, the mirror lit up once more and they all pushed through, almost at once. On the other side of the mirror was Trevelyan. He was sitting on his knees, among stone Qunari, using one of the statues to help keep him upright. For a moment, all Dorian felt was relief, but then he saw it. _His arm…_ He ran over, taking Trevelyan’s face between his hands. “ _Amatus?_ ”

Relief washed through him again, as a still-conscious Trevelyan smiled up at him, looking through half-lidded eyes. “Dorian. You found me.” His voice was soft and tired, like he was about to fall asleep.

“What… What happened?” Cassandra asked, gesturing to where his arm used to be. Now, it was gone from the elbow down, some cloth wrapped around it, probably to keep him from bleeding to death. She sounded like she was about to retch and clearly fighting not to show it.

Trevelyan had a hard time keeping awake. His head kept falling down and he was struggling to keep his eyes open. “Had to… Cut it off.”

Cassandra looked horrified, but all Dorian could think of was keeping his beloved alive. “Let’s get him back through the mirror. _Now._ ”

... 

Trevelyan looked so serene as he laid on the large bed. Peaceful. He was probably dreaming, a blessedly nightmare-less dream, having no idea what awaited him once he awoke. He hadn’t been himself when they’d found him, for obvious reasons, and Dorian was unsure how he’d react once he came to. Would he even remember?

The healers had worked on his arm, mending what they could whilst doing their best to keep him alive. They’d eventually told him that Trevelyan had lost a great deal of blood, but with rest, he would be alright. There would be pain, but he would live.

Dorian reached out to peek under the blanket and his breath hitched as he saw the bandaged stump. Somehow, it felt more real wrapped up like that, than when they'd carried him through the mirror. More permanent, as silly as the notion of it not being permanent was. He pulled the blankets back up to cover it. It shouldn’t be the first thing Trevelyan saw when he came to.

... 

“Are you in pain?" Dorian asked tentatively, watching Trevelyan's every moment, as the man slowly pushed himself up against the headboard.

He looked to where his stump was still covered by the blanket, with an odd expression on his face. "It aches." He said calmly, almost emotionlessly.

"To be expected..." Dorian didn't know what else to say. His arm was gone. He felt as useless now, as he had when the Anchor had nearly killed the man.

"Less than the Anchor did, though..." He kept looking at the blanket, a small furrow slowly creeping onto his face. "Feels like it's still there... But it isn't."

“No, _amatus._  It's not.”

Trevelyan reached out to slowly lift the blanket, his breaths coming in shorter as he stared at the stump for a prolonged moment, before covering it back up.

He sat back up against the headboard, staring up at the ceiling, his face cortorting in agony. “Stupid… It’s just an arm.” His voice crackled and the tears spilled from his eyes. Dorian sat down on the bed, wrapping his arms around him and holding him tight. Trevelyan buried his face in his shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably.

 ...

Dorian watched Trevelyan carefully, as he stood in front of the mirror, regarding himself with a frown. He'd been standing there for a few minutes and Dorian had been waiting for him to speak, but when he didn't say anything, the mage walked over to wrap his hands around his middle.

Trevelyan pulled away, keeping him at arm's lenght. " _Don't_." He spat angrily.

"Don't what?" Trevelyan looked away, scowling. "Don't touch the man I love? I’m afraid I can’t help myself, _amatus._ ”

Trevelyan shook his head, looking back at Dorian with a snarl. "Don't  _pretend._ Don't pretend to still want me!"

Dorian took a step back as if he'd been burned. How could Trevelyan even  _think_...?

"Perhaps, it's a good thing. It will certainly make it easier for you to leave me." Trevelyan said the words easily, like they didn't even hurt him. His face had turned calm and blank again, like he didn't feel anything at all.

"Don't... Say that." It was all Dorian managed to get out, his voice crackling.

"I don't blame you." Trevelyan said. "It's not just the arm... I've lost everything. The Inquisition... My friends... And now you. If only I'd never become the _bloody_ Inquisitor, all this gained, only to have ripped away... You should remember me for who I was." He looked back in the mirror, staring at the stump like it was the catalyst for all his pain. "You should go now."

" _Amatus, please._.." He reached out tentatively, putting a hand on the other's shoulder, but the man pulled away once more.

"Don't  _touch_ me!" His words were spoken harshly and angrily, but his face was filled with pain and sorrow. He truly looked broken and not because of the missing arm. "Go!" He pointed to the door, his face almost begging Dorian to do as he said.

Dorian turned away, about to leave, when he changed his mind.  _No._ He turned back around, face set sternly, despite the tears that he was unable to stop from spilling. "You don't get to send me away. Not now. Not after all this..." He stepped closer, Trevelyan stepping back until his back hit a wall. "I love you." His voice nearly a whisper in an attempt to keep his voice steady.

Trevelyan turned his face away, but Dorian grabbed it between his hands. "I  _love_ you. And I want you. Always." He forcefully pressed his lips against Trevelyan's, desperate for the physical contact, even forced as it was.

Trevelyan pushed him back with a hand on his chest, still stronger than Dorian. "Don't..." He said again, but his voice was soft and tired, his hand slipping from Dorian's chest as the mage pushed forward again, crushing their lips together.

This time, Trevelyan kissed back and relief settled in Dorian's chest. He felt the man snake his arm around his waist, pressing them flush together easily. The next time they drew back, it was for air. Trevelyan's lips were red and swollen and  _gorgeous._

He caught the man looking down to where Dorian was hard and pressed against his thigh. "See,  _amatus?_ I still want you." Trevelyan's lips twitched into something, which wasn't quite a smile, but close enough. He grabbed Dorian's neck hard, pressing their lips together once more.

 ...

Dorian was watching Trevelyan as the man stared out over the horizon, still blue despite being later in the day, with just a hint of green still left over from the Breach. He looked so handsome, so certain. He looked like Trevelyan. The man he'd always known and grown to love more than anything. 

Trevelyan turned his head, looking into his eyes with a small smile on his lips. "You're going to do great things in Tevinter, Dorian." Trevelyan said it so certainly, he could almost believed it.

"I'll try." He chuckled humourlessly.

"You will." Trevelyan said, as if he could make it so by will alone. He reached up with his hand, cupping Dorian's cheek. "We have to say goodbye now, don't we?"

Dorian sighed, feeling something tugging at his heartstrings. How he'd dreaded this moment. "Not goodbye,  _amatus._ Never goodbye."

Trevelyan's hand snaked around his neck, pulling him close for a soft hug. "Of course." He drew back, still smiling, despite his eyes looking wetter than usual. "We'll talk all the time, once I figure out how to use this blighted thing." He looked down at the sending crystal hanging around his neck, chuckling. "And I'll visit, when I can."

His smile faltered, for a moment looking much too serious for Dorian's liking. "I didn't mean it, you know. For all I've lost after becoming Inquisitior, I've gained... Much, much more. Including you. I just..."

"I know." He smiled reassuringly. "We'll talk soon. Try not to get yourself killed in the next mad quest of yours. I don't trust Solas and neither should you."

He said the words as a warning, but Trevelyan only smiled at him, like he was a child warning him that if he didn't do his homework he wouldn't get any presents for Santinalia. "I'll be careful, if you will."

Then he pulled him in for a crushing kiss that lasted until they were both out of breath. "See you soon."


End file.
